Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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