Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Randomize
Follow @tfln