do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize