Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(289): View more from Ontario

i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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(289): i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going? http://tfl.nu/rdp8

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(361): View more from Texas

ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.

(1-361): View more from Texas

Shotgun.

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(361): ISS teacher has a tramp stamp. (1-361): Shotgun. http://tfl.nu/53a6

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(616): View more from Michigan

sometimes you have to go after what you want

(313): View more from Michigan

true. and i really want to cum

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(616): sometimes you have to go after what you want (313): true. and i really want to cum http://tfl.nu/14gc

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(253): View more from Washington

Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

(1-253): View more from Washington

What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

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(253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma

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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(812): No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours... http://tfl.nu/gctx

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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(508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj

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(757): View more from Virginia

just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life

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(757): just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life http://tfl.nu/it50

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(614): View more from Ohio

Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.

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(614): Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning. http://tfl.nu/meuz

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

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(740): Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3z9c

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

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(814): Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate. http://tfl.nu/j5ej

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(315): View more from New York

A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos

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(315): A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos http://tfl.nu/8sxj

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.

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(303): I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high. http://tfl.nu/hr24

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(937): View more from Ohio

I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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(937): I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it. http://tfl.nu/wtlk

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

(763): View more from Minnesota

How can a condom be "half used"?

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(218): Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face (763): How can a condom be "half used"? http://tfl.nu/3d85

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

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(608): I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books. (608): I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night. http://tfl.nu/nd7e

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