is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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