it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
