You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
