Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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