Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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