I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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