I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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