Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
