and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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