You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
