before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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