I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
