I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
