Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
