Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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