Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (5218) Bad night (1141)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  No one shows this much boob at breakfast

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  (404): It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast. (1-404): No one shows this much boob at breakfast http://tfl.nu/tvt6
  Replies (7) Good night (3879) Bad night (745)
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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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  (530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw
  Replies (62) Good night (6764) Bad night (890)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night

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  (307): Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night http://tfl.nu/tl6b
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (3911)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?

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  (303): Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen? http://tfl.nu/jc7g
  Replies (35) Good night (4915) Bad night (1277)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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  (860): Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it. http://tfl.nu/iun7
  Replies (15) Good night (1877) Bad night (4104)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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  (347): Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes. http://tfl.nu/qm7s
  Replies (12) Good night (2564) Bad night (1537)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

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  (704): Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now. http://tfl.nu/n39e
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (1395)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (810) Bad night (2384)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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  (336): I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex http://tfl.nu/yoqe
  Replies (3) Good night (1232) Bad night (492)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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  (215): I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear. http://tfl.nu/e69q
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (508)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"

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  (609): he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you" http://tfl.nu/enmx
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (838)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.

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  (727): Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high. http://tfl.nu/hvl4
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (316)
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  (530): View more from California

  He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.

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  (530): He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette. http://tfl.nu/s1hb
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (655)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ

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  (515): My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ http://tfl.nu/eoqa
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (207)

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