If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.