Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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(951): View more from California

I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick

(541): View more from Oregon

the rest of him looks just as crooked

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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(714): View more from California

I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.

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(518): View more from New York

She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome

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