I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single