She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
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I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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