Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
