I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
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They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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