I got chris browned last night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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