the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
