How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize