my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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