i used baking grease as lip gloss
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
