I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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