so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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