Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize