i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
