My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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