The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
