and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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