I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
