I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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