Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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