I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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