I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
