She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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