Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
