And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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