in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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