marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
