but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
