Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize