i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
