i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
