Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
