You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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