it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
