I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
