went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
