haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
