no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
