there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
