Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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