I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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