according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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