Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish