So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.