piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
