Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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