just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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