i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
