Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
